Jul 272004

I was travelling on the bus, again. I highly recommend it, very entertaining experience. We arrived at Euston station. I heard a man speaking to his young daughter.

“Do you know what station this is?”
“Is this where we say goodbye to mummy?” she said.
“No, this is where we usually greet mummy,” her dad said laughing. “It’s funny you should see this station as where we say goodbye to mummy.”

My ears pricked up. I usually tune out all conversation but for some reason this one had caught my attention. I liked the way both of them were right but it’s a matter of perspective; the optimist versus the pessimist. A few minutes later the girl said “Daddy, what’s an optimist?”

As I pondered over their conversation I had a thought. Life is all about memory and what and how we choose to remember. I had another thought about awakening. People on the spiritual ‘path’ are forever discussing waking up from the dream or sleep. What if it is the reverse? What if we are on earth not to wake up at all but to forget?

I am very good at forgetting, and I’m sure this is true for many people. Let’s take food. You eat and after a few hours you’ve conveniently forgotten you’ve eaten so you have another meal. Reminders might manifest as hunger pangs or in other ways depending on individual programme. If we are good at forgetting and have to be reminded to eat, surely it must mean that forgetfulness is our natural state of being?

There are many ways we are constantly reminded to eat. There are tons of restaurants around, at least in London there are. There are many commercials reminding us to go shopping. It wouldn’t be so bad if the food was readily available but no, you have to pay for it. In order to have money you have to work for it. You are also reminded that without food you will not survive. For humanity to survive our minds must continuously be programmed so we continue the cycle of work, shop, food, eat, sleep etc. I believe true choice is knowing that existence has nothing to do with eating and so you can choose to remember the programme to eat or forget about eating.

It seems to me that we are beings with no memory. If we are to remember who we are, we have to forget the self, forget all that goes with it. Have you ever woken up in the morning and for the first few minutes you haven’t a clue who you are or why you are? Then the programme kicks in and you think “oh yes, I am Tom or Harry.” What if you were to totally forget who you are?

When I was a child my nickname was “TV Times” because I used to memorise the programmes. It got to a point when my brothers and cousins stopped reading the programme, they would say “Hey TV Times, what’s on at 8 o’clock?” and TV Times always knew.

These days I tend to remember only what I need to remember and then I forget. I only remember that I am Silence and within Silence are no memories, no past, no future, it just is. I go around not giving any thought to anything unless when the above conversation piques my interest, which is usually what Inner Silence wants me to experience that day. Mind for me is forgetfulness, emptiness. Anything I need to remember is brought to memory.

I had another thought why people find it difficult to absorb truth teachings. I reckon it’s because there are too many programmes in mind. In order to absorb any teachings you have to empty the mind. In any case, truth teachings are essentially there to prod one into remembrance of Self that you have no memory. You cannot memorise Truth, you simply know it. Even if I didn’t read any more books I will still know. I also find the more empty I am the more I know.

As I was pondering on memory I was sitting on the top deck of the bus. There are two types of these buses in London. If you’re in the new version and sitting upstairs, the exit is in front. If you’re on top of the old, Route Master version, the exit is at the back. I was in a Route Master bus. A man was about to leave and instead of walking towards the back he walked in front. I chuckled to myself; there’s a guy who is demonstrating loss of memory!

You wish to remember who you are? Forget about it.

Love Enocia