I’ve heard the word “love” used so many times. I have pondered over what love means and whether we all mean the same thing. I’ve come to the conclusion that, as long as I know what it means for me and live that principle, it’s the only thing that matters. I am now going to share my understanding of love. If we share the same definition, good. If we don’t, good.
I believe there are two types of love: impersonal and personal.
Impersonal love stems from Source, that which is the source of life and experiences. Source is Energy. Source is eternal, was never born nor can it ever die. It is Source that is having life as me, through my unique personality. By personality, I’m referring to my uniqueness as immortal Spirit, which is the real me. When I wish to have an experience, Source provides the Energy necessary. Source doesn’t judge my experiences as good or bad. It is up to me, the personality, to decide whether I like that experience or I can choose again. This way, I am a free Spirit.
Impersonal love is therefore one that encourages me to be myself, to choose what I would like to experience, and to accept all experiences without judgment. In other words to express freedom. I believe impersonal love is my basic nature. No matter what I’m going through I always feel impersonal love. I believe impersonal love is the essence of all life.
The second type of love, personal, is what enables one to experience life. As my unique Spirit self, I can create universes, species etc. But to experience life in, say, a human form with other unique Spirit entities, there has to be a kind of symbiosis. This symbiosis is the second type of personal love, which arises from a personal desire to experience life. Personal love is a state of oneness, a temporary creation of one mind, where you have commonalities or share experiences, objectives and view points. It is personal love that enables humanity to survive, and all species for that matter.
I observe personal love can manifest in various ways, such as personal desires for something – food, writing, travel, politics, media – love for friends, family, nature, humanity, all life, etc. Personal love is motivated by desire for experiences and lasts as long as the experience. Thus, personal love is temporal.
I believe when many people describe love for another they are referring to personal love. You can’t compel someone to love you since personal love is dependent on a wish to share an experience together for a while.
Take, for example, human intimate relationships. You are attracted to someone because he meets your requirements of a partner. It is possible you could have pre-arranged this meeting in order for you to experience life together. You are of one mind and are expressing personal love for one another. I have noticed some couples who are of such one mind that they start to resemble each other. What happens when the relationship doesn’t work out? It could be that you have stopped feeling personal love for one another due to the fact that you no longer share the same desires or you wish to have new experiences. Although you no longer wish to be together, you still feel impersonal love for one another, the love that wishes the other well and respects the other person’s choice to experience life. That is the ideal situation.
Unfortunately, for most people, when a relationship ends you are far from being in a state of impersonal love. You might be feeling hurt and you want to lash out at the other. Since you are not realising you are fundamentally impersonal love, who is here to experience life, and that all is free to experience life, you are only thinking of your personal love and want to impose that love on your partner. It is a bitter split and you never want to lay eyes on the other again. It might take you a long time to get over that individual.
Personal love can extend to include family and close friends only. This is why you will find a man who loves his family and friends so much, he will do anything for them, even lay down his life for them, but may appear not to give a hoot about his neighbour. It doesn’t make him a bad person, it just means he’s not aware of his impersonal loving nature.
There are people who feel intense personal love for a cause or belief. I’ve heard of animal activists who feel such personal love for animals and nature, they will kill to protect a tree or an animal.
There are those whose personal love reach far and wide to embrace their nation or humanity as a whole, where this love wishes to serve humanity. That is fine if that’s what the individual wishes to experience. The danger is personal love can lead to mental slavery where some people want to impose their love for their country on another, resulting in ideologies where people are under control.
I believe the ideal way to love is realising you are impersonal love whose nature is non-judgmental, accepting of people’s choices, considerate and free to experience life. When you feel that way, you allow others to be the same. So whether you choose to experience personal love or not, you are always being yourself – impersonal love.
While I was pondering over these ideas on the bus, I heard a young man on his mobile phone. He was speaking to his girlfriend. The intensity in his voice revealed his feelings for her. He was trying to reassure her that he would be at her place as soon as he could. He said “Promise you’ll text me. Promise.” After that conversation, his phone rang again. This time it sounded like a male friend. The conversation only lasted a few minutes which was straight to the point. His friend wanted information, he responded and that was the end of their conversation. His voice sounded brusque but friendly in a “guy to guy” way, as some men have been conditioned to behave. I observed the two phone calls as two versions of personal love: friendship and intimate relationship.
On the same bus, I noticed a man sitting near a window. Soon, another man and his young daughter got on and were looking for seats. The man near the window offered his seat so the man and his daughter could sit together. That was a demonstration of impersonal love.
Although I know my nature is impersonal love, I have fun with personal love. Sometimes it feels as if I’m only experiencing personal love. When I feel immense personal love, I feel joyful and playful. I am at one mind with whoever I’m communicating with and it feels magical, in the sense that we express each other’s thoughts. Our relationship is easy and harmonious. When I feel personal love, I’m in harmony with whatever I am doing. It could be harmony with my fellow passengers, or friends, colleagues, and family. When I’m feeling personal love and I’m on my own, I explore things I love and have lots of fun. I attract people who love what I love for that moment only or it could be the beginning of a long friendship. No matter what, personal love is always fun.
There are many times when I feel impersonal love. If I am not in rapport with someone i.e. the other’s behaviour is not in harmony with my personal choice, I express impersonal love. I see the other as a spirit being expressing himself the way he chooses and I give him the freedom to be. If someone is being critical of me, I become myself, impersonal love, where, again, I give the other the freedom to express self according to belief. My words, when I’m feeling impersonal love, might sound cold and detached, but that is me expressing what I innately am.
According to my understanding of love, I am always expressing love.
I am Love,
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