Most minds are infested with a sense of insecurity at some stage of life. It appears in uncountable forms and each one is so strong at a given time that it turns the mind mad. It results in a variety of ailments and moods. The effects of insecurity are not easily discernible or understandable, and appear in unrecognizable forms, for example: corruption, sex indulgence, drinking in excess, anger, violence, etc. Only the people nearby easily make out and start avoiding such a person.
In my case it happened due to the loss of a prospective job in a period of only 6 months which I never expected to happen. I was running wildly in search of a suitable job for more than 3 months (January-March 1977) but without success. This resulted in a dreadful dream being repeated 2-3 times a year for almost 5-6 years, even after I got a suitable job and the awakening experience (Please refer my article, Death – a great spiritual teacher, indeed!). In these dreams I am searching unsuccessfully for a job for the sustenance of my family members and I wake up from it in a sweat.
Though the awakening experience happened suddenly in 1977, getting accustomed to feeling secure, attaining equanimity of mind, complete removal of death fear, etc. (i.e. natural qualities of the awakened one), took some more time. It is like having received an explanation of the road map to the destination, but the time taken in traversing the distance depends upon one’s mode of covering the distance. The awakened one is bound to attain the above qualities in his lifetime. It is rightly said that one should achieve one’s divine goal during the time the body lasts; the sooner the better. Development of a compassionate heart is the final goal of a blessed individual, for which it is not necessary to be well versed in scriptures, religion, or skillful in anything. One may even be an intellectual, but without claiming so. One tries to become just a witness, without expressing personal reactions to the events that are happening between nature and the driving force, i.e., God (or say between body and soul).
No doubt, most of us would like to live in peace and be content too. It is only possible individually, not collectively. Each one of us can search inner security successfully.
It all starts with our ego-based desires and ambitions – if fulfilled we turn to become greedy and if not fulfilled we develop hatred, enmity, disgust, and so on. Becoming desireless (internally, of course) is the key to see things in their right perspectives. The desireless state has nothing to do with daily routines, which should be carried out as the situation demands. It is only that one should accept the outcome happily.
One should not compare oneself with others materialistically. That is bound to result in frustration. Each one of us is unique in some sense, and one cannot possess the totality alone. The earnings of two persons with the same qualifications may not be same after some time. It all depends on efforts and chances, or the opportunities one comes across. Hence, it is usually said that a qualification is not a marketable commodity to earn a fixed price.
Sometimes sincere efforts are not noticed, and a sincere person hardly cares to be appreciated or honoured. Often such efforts are recognized only after the person has left the scene. Such persons are well suited to the spiritual realm. In spirituality, display is avoided, and it shows in words, deeds and character, making it a way of life to feel blessed. The person treading the path of spirituality hardly cares for the opinion of worldly people, but follows the words of wise persons in toto. A selfish man has a heart of iron while a heart without ego is as soft as butter that melts at the slightest heat. The egoless person likes to take care of the downtrodden (of course, we all are downtrodden till we develop a relation with God).
Complete removal of ego is not in our hands, or not possible through our efforts. One has to resort to prayers or the repetition of the sweet name of God, realizing its importance in making life tension-free and bestowing peace of mind. Then the process starts. The process is similar to the removal of a lump in the body without anesthesia. One has to pray to God and sustain a firm belief to be able to bear the pain. Happiness always follows the removal of the lump – or ego. There is no other way!
Once ego is removed one will find that insecurity has vanished. Development of faith in oneself (as life-force) and in others too, is the bonus one gets.
SP Sharma, India