The February Newsletter of www.kenpage.com goes deeply into the question of relationships. The quality of our partnerships with others, it says, actually reflects the quality of the relationships we have with ourselves. It reminded me of an insight that came to me during an Anta Mouna (inner silence) Yoga practice. When I was told to think of something happy my mind went blank and when told to think of something sad it came up with “nobody loves me”. I had already grown sufficiently in spirit to know how ridiculous this idea was, but it did put me onto the track of relationships.
To allow anyone to come really close to me would mean exposure. Nobody loves me means I am unlovable. Right? Now here comes the better part. Some people of course do say they do love me. They must be a bit dumb not to be able to see I’m faking it. The remedy is that I must always stay on top of the relationship, be smarter, hide my true nature.
Yes, this is a totally ridiculous attitude. But till we truly learn to love ourselves, our self-criticism is bound to get into the way of relationships. I smile when the article mentions people who make out long, wonderful lists of all the attributes they wish their perfect partner to have. The question to ask is, are we all those things? Do we have all those attributes? And now comes a true insight: Unless we reflect the type of vibrational being we wish to attract, how will we be found? One of the true stepping stones on my way of growth were the words
Be gentle with yourself.
Remember you are the best person
you know how to be.
Relationships are learning experiences. Give yourself permission to be as God has made you. Take “A Course in Miracles” and remember “The only lesson to be learned is to love yourself.” When we have learned this lesson, all our relationships will be joyful and fulfilling.
Love, Light, Joy, Peace