All of us will agree that we seek love and pleasure. If these are based on just expression and are non-physical then certainly two people (gender is not important) will gain mutual love. Compare the friendship between two innocent children in comparison to adults who are mostly indulged in the tug-of-war of self-interests.
Let me respect my wife for the care she took of our children. I never expected children to take my side in the case of different opinions (between myself and my wife) on any occasion. Still, on certain aspects we remained poles apart or just opposite, but in spite of such vast differences I believe that she is helping me in my determinations, even by opposing me. On the occasion of opportunities, in my view, she resisted to the extent of totally disagreeing, but would accept them when they materialized. Some views of mine on which she disagrees, I found, she advocates to others in my absence. It pleased me immensely because the scriptures support those views and my wife has accepted them naturally, at least in principle.
This is not the case with my wife alone, but also with whomsoever we come across in our worldly dealings. Not only are we related to our spouse, we are related to the whole world, too. When one settles in a city leaving one’s village then anybody from this village is a companion in the city. Similarly, when we go to another province or country then our sense of belonging becomes wider leading us to believe in ‘the world as a family’. If one happened to stay on another planet and someone from Earth happened to reach there then one would embrace him considering him a soul mate forgetting all the differences of region, gender, caste, creed and religion.
Now coming to the point, we expect fulfillment of our desires from others – an impossible desire which leads only to frustration (the child of expectation is frustration). In all relations we seek the fulfillment of our desires and in return we get grief.
In such situations how to remain calm and composed?
Realizing the dwelling of the same consciousness in all beings there is no problem in accepting the opinions of others and in acting righteously. There is the risk that you may be left alone with all your human values, but you need not fear because people may become your followers afterward. Keep your personal God with you as Christ did when his associates deserted him in the end. Becoming associated with Christ is something that is desirable for us, mortal people, to please His Father in Heaven.
In Heaven there is no worldly pleasure that will cost us our health, money or prestige, and we will be spared disgrace too! A pure divine pleasure, which can be seen on the radiant face of the saints, is no doubt an indication of so-called heaven. These saints are so powerful that even rogues may leave their demonic behaviour and become their follower instantly.
If you are successful in adopting your personal or impersonal God then you need not worry about momentary feelings. Your wishes will be fulfilled to your heart’s content. Adopting God and remaining attached to Him is the only way to fulfill our dearest wishes and to enjoy eternal Heaven.
SP Sharma, India