It was almost midnight and I was awake when I heard T…..R…..R…..R…..BHAMM like a bomb explosion in my head and then all was calm and quiet. I had written four lines in my notebook before this event:
1. My body is becoming His, gradually.
2. I am dying; in the morning I shall be born as a new person.
3. The house is collapsing, run.
4. Gurudev (Spiritual Master)! Save me. I am dying
The next moment I saw a luminous figure of myself rising above my head. I remember only the head rising up to the neck portion, not the full body.
The next day my wife became alert when my speech slurred. The doctor of our Dispensary was called home, who referred me to a Psychiatrist. I was kept for eight days in a nursing home suffering from Bipolar (BP) disorder. There I was kept sleeping for 2-3 days under the influence of heavy doses of a sleeping drug and other mood settling drugs.
My son at Mumbai sent me an email containing triggers and symptoms of BP because this is a recurring disease. From the contents of his email I came to know that this disease has three stages – (i) mania, (ii) psychosis and (iii) severe depression. I think medication started when I had crossed to the second stage, i.e. psychosis.
I had a laptop at the Pensioners’ Office and started searching BP stories of many people, particularly of those whose BP experiences were connected with Spirituality, Awakening, Intellect and Kundalini awakening. One Doctor has termed BP as a “spiritual emergency”.
From sleeplessness during several nights due to stress of several jobs at hand my mind was becoming blank. Racing thoughts crossed my mind; however, I never felt any physical problem/symptoms, but I was at the brink of physical and mental exhaustion. So this episode of BP was quite beneficial to me.
My mind has been refined twice by a full-fledged Bipolar disorder, in July 1977 and June 2011. I have greatly benefited from the first episode of BP in 1977 and complete details are contained in my article: Death – a great spiritual teacher, indeed! The experience of the second episode, a full-fledged BP, has given me a reply to my persisting question – “What is a divine body?” I heard from my Guru about the divine body of a devotee which he gets after God-realization. I pondered over the divine body – what does it look like? Now this body is used by God and sometimes by me. I and we remain together always.
It is necessary for a self-realized person to achieve the stage of God-realization as long as the body lasts. Then one gets a degree of a God-realized soul.
Giving the body to God means that whatever is being done the credit goes to HIM. Now I am not taking a bath and food for my purpose but for the purpose of my most beloved.
SP Sharma, India
I was born on 8 December 1945 and had self-realisation on 20 August 1977 at the age of 32. Thereafter I automatically shifted to the devotion path and a sort of relationship developed with God. Starting as a servant to God, then friendliness with God and then started liking God in child form. There is nothing left except to enjoy divine love and feel its presence in the whole world.