I know your post is 6 mths out of date but I've just found this site so forgive me if this is no longer relevant. First I suppose I hope you have already received responses that have provided the help that you were looking for. Second, the part of your post which struck me is the part you identified as 'the worst' missing appreciation and credit for your deeds.

It is very honest of you to state that clearly and it is important to understand where you are (or were in Feb). It's also important to honour your experience whether it appears to be a negative one or not, you have done all of that which can be an enormous challenge to many people so acknowledge that to yourself and be thankful that you had the power to do that.

The powerful answers we are looking for very often come from difficult and painful challenges in our lives, so the question that arises is, what is this challenge trying to teach you or what can you learn form this difficult situation.

One possible answer which may be of value to you is this. When we act in any aspect of our lives solely for the right reasons, in other words because we believe whatever our action is, is the right thing to do at any given time, we are acting from our heart and no appreciation or credit is necessary. We are doing it because it is the right thing for us to do at that time. Whether that illicits thanks or recognition from the beneficiary is of no consequence, your actions when this was your intention were your expression or your thanks and recognition to your spirit. I hope this is of some help.

Regards Joe